I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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