those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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