Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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