I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
