I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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