There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize