I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
