dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize