What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
