yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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