i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
