You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
