Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
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What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
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He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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