Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
