Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
