it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
