I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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