Christians are straight up FREAKS
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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