i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
