If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
