That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
