He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
