Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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