I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
