it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
