i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
did you just send me my own nude
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
