I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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