Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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