so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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