Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
