i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
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I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
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not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh god it's open bar.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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