i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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