I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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