my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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