don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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