It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
