Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
As shirtless as possible
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
