I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
