yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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