Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
