when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
