But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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