We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
