he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
