It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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