I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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