so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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