He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
