Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
