He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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