Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
