careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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