I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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