I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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