If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You've changed since you got that strap on
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
