I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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