oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
