"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
COCAINE IS GR8
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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