Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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