I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
