I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
