he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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