do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
