Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
